BUILDTHECLOUDS.

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:22:55 GMT

Prelude.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 05:08:15 GMT

A prelude to my life.
Something to look deeper into me.

A blog I'm typing before I am heading to school!
thats my prelude very much by the way.
that school is sucking me in.
thank you.

the lost soul may not return home.

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:23:55 GMT

"I write in here tonight, not as somebody that I see in the mirror, but as a lost soul, a forsaken, a deranged and a desperate. I've lost the ability to leave the vicious cycle of my influx of emotions. My despondent self has left me nothing but full of destruction. I sense no rational, I sense no courage, I sense no life. I've broken the mental barrier that I've built throughout the years to protect myself, I've broken the only left dignity and pride in my past life to continue what I perceived as to be the continuation of myself. I'm broken. I am broken.

What can I do to repair myself when the only hopes left from the past life has been crippled now. The walls and walls and walls of protection, of safety, of sanity, of self has been defeated. My phobia has slapped hard on my face. Do I seriously deserve all these, really?, I asked myself more than the fucking times I have imagined. So much that I've no more sanity to understand the answer.

Life is unfair, I said. Is it wrong to ache for protection? Now I've succumbed to damage, so now I am broken. And now, I have to be sane to repair. To repair all the damage that I've done to myself I guess, in one way or another.

When I've decided to let myself go from the screams and cries of the past, I've let go of my life because if ever one day I have to go through all over again, I wonder what would become of me.
Now that it is destructed, in destruction, how do I repair, how do I be the pillar of support?, to myself and to others?

What else can I perceive myself to be?"

written by a melancholiac.

You.

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 06:21:28 GMT

let's say welcome to the world.
today i woke up knowing that i need to see the world, because the world wants to see me.
it's time to stop living in my land with an small pathway to it because there's more, to just it.
all because of you.
:)

revelation

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:42:55 GMT

what differentiate between good stress and bad stress? what is stress and what is it?

passion

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 10:40:59 GMT

"if you have the passion for what you're doing, you'll always find solutions to the problems you face" quoted by my guest lecturer.

Do you find solutions to what you do?

Cake.

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:31:06 GMT

love is like baking a cake, you bake, and fail, and bake again, and fail again. and all and all, eventually leading to bake the ideal cake for yourself.

but how many times are you willing to try again? you deplete your resource, your energy, your willpower and yourself. and sometimes, you know the problem is too much flour, too little butter, but you never actually recognise it. for it being an hassle to solve it, or it might even lead to bigger problems.

but without trying, you will never get the ideal cake at all.

do we try to fail, or we try to succeed?

it's time isnt it?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:57:06 GMT

i wanted to blog something, but i reckon, i probably wouldn't have the time to continue. thoughts seems to fly, choices seems to fly, my life seems to fly, away from me.

do you feel life?

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:41:14 GMT

i feel exceptional cold today, and probably yesterday. who would have guessed? who would have?

what subject is this again?

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:44:09 GMT

i kept thinking that today is friday then monday and yes, tuesday and i had to keep reminding myself that it is actually Thursday. Not that it makes a difference, it is just that it's better to keep track of time, it makes you feel like you are keeping track of yourself.

after a long period

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:12:47 GMT

is it me? am i not able to understand? ...

Tue, 06 May 2008 19:07:53 GMT

revival.

tainted clouds the second.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:08:54 GMT

Drastically, this might be my last entry. drastically since. drastically now. drastically then. well, we'll see how.

tainted clouds.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:07:13 GMT

i just realised how drastically it changed. has life been good to me? if you say drastically is good that is. if you say drastically is bad that is. 5 entries back, 10 entries back, 15 entries back, all changed so drastically.

draw me in.

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:56:28 GMT

okay, i just switched off my com, then i switch it on just to type this. here goes.
there was this little boy, who lives in his little world, then he died.
hahahahahahaha.

path.

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:55:13 GMT

maybe, it's true. you choose to feel how you want to feel. but to me, it seems like i've forgot it all, but i'm feeling it all. and am i choosing it? i don't know. because i've long forgot the path that i was walking on, and where it leads me to.

throw.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:38:54 GMT

cast me away. cast me to somewhere.

the way.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 09:08:00 GMT

i feel oppressed and demanded. not by anyone, but by myself. i am tired..

stars.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:46:11 GMT

its stifling here, probably if i could, i would.
it's really exhausting, wearying and taxing.

18.

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 18:50:47 GMT

imposing your impression of a 18 year-old on me is giving me the notion of how asinine you are. we earn our image, it is not given. learn to understand, not to think what your pea-sized brain think it is.

say it's okay.

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 15:54:56 GMT

the light is on, then off, on then off.

run away.

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:13:51 GMT

And try, and try to understand me
And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay
I, I'm moving on from this place
I'm leaving and I won't quit running away.

I'm running away.
I'm leaving this place.
Yeah, I'm running away.
I'm running away.

dinner.

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 10:53:47 GMT

i just want to be out eating a simple dinner.

bypass.

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:57:23 GMT

i was reading my previous entry, about how bored is an understatement.
life changes so fast that it caught you unprepared, and midst of this whole process, it seems that you actually stood, while everything transcend through time. it is pointless to understand, to know, to be able to comprehend, because whatever you know for now, may not be what it is tomorrow. you open a door, locked so hard, but gently, very gently, you moved your hand and turn the knob without having to put in force, it squeak, slightly, then slowly, it got louder. and louder. and even louder, and it slaps you to wake up. then stupefied, fell, and bled.
but was that the door that opened yourself to the rest?

close to you.

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:23:58 GMT

why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near?
just like me, they long to be, close to you.
why do stars fall down from the sky, everytime you walk by?
just like me, they long to be, close to you.

on the day that you were born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true,
so they sprinkle moon dust in your head, and golden starlight in your eyes of blue.